Not yes, not no
Because the law applies to every under-16, eSafety says families no longer have to choose between letting a child open accounts and making sure they aren’t left out:
“Parents and carers don’t have to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to social media accounts, instead they can say ‘not yet’.”
The reasons eSafety gives are about design. Streams of notifications and alerts, pressure to view disappearing content, and feeds that serve up negative, upsetting or manipulative material have been linked to increased stress and reduced sleep and concentration. eSafety calls the delay “a breathing space” for building digital, social and emotional skills, and for learning to reach out for help when things go wrong.
Four steps eSafety suggests
Start by listening. eSafety suggests asking what your child has seen happening among friends and classmates, and how they feel about it, and it publishes conversation starters to help. Then, to help a child prepare:
- Find the people and places that matter. Ask which apps, people, groups, communities and services they care about most, and plan other ways to keep in touch, such as swapping phone numbers with close friends.
- Save what they want to keep. Help them download their data from each platform, including contacts and memories, in case the platform deletes the account rather than deactivating it until they turn 16.
- Wind back together. Talk about starting to use social media less now, and make it a family effort by doing it yourself too.
- Show them where help is. Suggest they bookmark eSafety’s page for young people, “I need help: something has happened online”.
eSafety’s get-ready guide for parents and carers works through the same ground. Some platforms may let under-16s deactivate an account and come back to it at 16, but eSafety says young people shouldn’t rely on that, and should download anything they want as soon as possible.
If your child still has an account
Fair and accurate age checks take platforms time, so some under-16s still have accounts, and some lose access before others, even within one family. eSafety says to prepare for the account going at any time, and possibly more than once:
- platforms are expected to re-check age when there are signs a user is under 16, even after a check was passed
- anyone can report a user to the platform as under 16, which may trigger a check
- a platform that isn’t age-restricted now could be reassessed if its features or use change.
You don’t have to wait for the platform. eSafety suggests talking with your child about why the restrictions exist, working through the four steps, and deleting the apps together. You can also report the account to the platform. Your child is not breaking the law, and there is no mandatory reporting for parents.
An account in a parent’s name
Some under-16s use accounts that a parent manages, for things like sport or music. If a platform is satisfied that an account is really held by an under-16, and not their parent or another adult, eSafety says it should be removed or deactivated. Each platform also has its own rules on running accounts for other people, which you can check with the platform directly.
When something goes wrong
eSafety is clear on this point. A child who has a harmful experience online should reach out for support, even if they are under 16 and it happened on an age-restricted platform, and they won’t get into trouble for being there. When eSafety receives a report of cyberbullying or image-based abuse from an age-restricted platform, it will not tell the platform that the account belongs to an under-16. The platform may still find out through its own enquiries, but eSafety strongly urges parents to encourage reporting anyway. Mark 5 covers how cyberbullying reports work.
Signs worth a gentle check-in
Some under-16s will find losing their accounts harder than others, especially those who used social media as their main way to connect or find support, for example because distance, disability or language makes meeting in person hard. eSafety notes that some changes in behaviour are a normal part of growing up, but lists signs that it may be worth checking how a child is coping, among them:
- sudden changes in mood
- avoiding conversations about what they do online, or becoming secretive with devices
- dropping out of their usual interests or activities
- tiredness or disturbed sleep
- becoming quieter, or withdrawing from friends and family.
A child may not want to talk to a parent about everything, so eSafety suggests agreeing together on other adults they can trust. For young people looking for connection, eSafety points to Kids Helpline’s My Circle, a free, private forum for 12- to 25-year-olds, and to the Beyond Blue forums, which are open to under-16s.
Support for you
eSafety reminds parents and carers that they don’t have to manage the change alone. Among the services it lists are Kids Helpline’s Parentline, the Raising Children Network, the Family Relationships Advice Line and ReachOut’s coaching for parents and carers of teens, as well as a child’s school counsellor or a local doctor. eSafety also suggests talking with other parents about how they are handling it, and agreeing on shared arrangements, such as for sleepovers.
In an emergency, call Triple Zero (000).
On settings and controls, eSafety has a separate page on parental controls, and Mark 6 covers privacy settings.